From Friends to Forever: Episode 3 – Trying to See Something

KELLI

I balanced the takeout bag in one hand while trying to slide my key into the front door’s lock.

The Thai restaurant I stopped by earlier was short on staff, so I couldn’t help but volunteer to assist them with their late afternoon and evening rush.

The restaurant’s owner, Anong, was so grateful for my help, and I was happy to give it.

There wasn’t a business in Rose Hill I didn’t help in. We were a town of small businesses. Our shop owners relied on the people of Rose Hill to keep things opened and running. Young and old, and of all races, we were a community, and that’s what I loved the very most about Rose Hill.

Which is what I always try to explain to Ryder.

As soon as I got the key in the lock and turned it, the door gave way and opened to the view of Rose Hill and the man who was just on my mind, Ryder, sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. A TV that was off.

I glanced at the TV, then back at Ryder. “Hey?”

He looked over at me and chucked his chin, refocusing on the blank screen.

“Okay.” I snickered to myself. “It’s that kind of Rose Hill return, yet again.”

He was up and out of his seat before I could close the door. “Let me help you with that.”

He moved the air when he made his way over to me. His cologne filling my space with something woodsy and sweet, his signature scent.

I asked. “When did you get back?”

“Hours ago,” he said, taking the bags out of my hand. “This is a lot of food.”

“Anong insisted.” I giggled. “She was short-staffed today, so I helped, and she gave us all of this for free.”

“Kelli, the community superhero,” he joked, looking over his shoulder at me as he swaggered to our kitchen. “Not all superheroes wear capes, huh?”

“Ha, ha.” I rolled my eyes while holding back my smile. “You wanna eat now?”

“Nah.” He placed the bags on the island that divided our kitchen from the living room. “Let’s smoke.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh my God.”

“I got some Kush from Cali.”

“And I got work tomorrow.”

“It’s the good shit you like.” He made his brows bounce, and I burst out laughing.

I sighed, looking away.

“Let’s take a shot of that tequila. I know you always got some tequila up in here.” He gestured with his hands. “Roll up, catch up.” He smiled. “Then we can eat.”

“Smoke and drink?” I blew air through my lips. “Ryder, I don’t know.”

“Please.” He pressed his palms together to form prayer hands.

I stared at him for a moment, trying to get a good read on him.

Every time Ryder returned to Rose Hill, it was always like giving him a therapy session. For a town that loved this man down to his bones, he hated being back home.

I could never understand it.

I’ve traveled around the world. Maybe not as many places as Ryder, but I’ve seen some cities and none of them compared to the warmth and beauty that was Rose Hill, New York. But every chance he got, he did his best to get out of Rose Hill. And with him back again, I wondered how he was feeling this time.

He wore his usual boyish grin. Eyes a little red, but my best friend was a smoker, so that could be anything. He looked okay, but I knew with a little talking, the truth would emerge.

Especially when the truth serum, better known as Kush, was in his lungs.

“Okay.” I nodded. “Take a shot, roll up, catch up, and eat.”

He winked. “In that order.”

***

“I don’t know, Kellz.” Ryder exhaled loudly. “I think I lost it.”

I peeked over and held my gaze with him, waiting for him to continue.

He sat up and dropped his head into his hands.

On our coffee table were two shot glasses, a half-empty bottle of tequila, and a tiny blunt that we’d just put out.

Ryder rolled a fat one, too.

I was on cloud nine somewhere, half here and half there, feeling every bit of the tequila and Kush rolling through me, taking turns with keeping my head and my thoughts light.

“A kid stopped me,” Ryder started. “As soon as I got out of my black car today.” He laughed after. “Kellz, he was so excited not only to see me but to get my advice on how to break into the music business.”

I nodded slowly.

“His enthusiasm.” He shook his head next. “Shit, I can’t remember the last time I felt that excited about music.” Ryder sat back in his seat and lolled his head over the neck of the couch. “I told him to never fall out of love with music or the art of making it. I told him that because I realized that once you fall out of love with making music, that love might be gone forever. And I’m worried that might be the case for me.”

“What do you mean?” I slurred, sitting up to turn in my seat to face him.

He inhaled a deep breath, his bare chest rising and falling. Like always, Ryder removed his tee and was sitting on the couch in only his jeans. Tattoos covered everywhere my eyes fell. Everything from a photo of his mother on his left shoulder to the word dedication, tatted in big bold letters across his abs, was visible from my view.

I remember his mother crying to me the first time she saw his first tattoo. The big and bold word dedication tatted on his brown skin. He got it on his eighteenth birthday, sending his mother into a crying fit. Now, he has so many tats, we only noticed a new tattoo when he points it out… and we’d have to look really hard to find it.

Ryder turned to face me. “There was this kid in the competition. Lucky.” Ryder smiled. “Man, he’s been through some shit, and it was clear the first time I met him, but his love of his craft, Kellz?” He shook his head. “He loves music. It was what fed him. He breathed the art. And it was obvious within minutes of meeting him. That’s what got him the win. And I recognized that. The hunger. It’s one reason I didn’t trip off losing.”

“You didn’t lose.”

Ryder pursed his lips together. “I lost, Kelli. Don’t do the Kelli thing right now. Please.”

I twisted my lips to one side.

“Look, I’m cool with it.” He shrugged. “I’m at peace with everything. I got my album I always wanted, and I realized it wasn’t what I thought it would be. And now… I’m back at the drawing board.”

“Hmph, I know all about being back at drawing boards.” I nodded, turning to face forward. “I have a date coming up. I’m going on a date after not going on one in years.”

He chuckled. “You say that like you’re turning yourself in to start a bid.”

I laughed. “It’s in Manhattan. I now am leaving Rose Hill to go on a date in Manhattan because I’ve exhausted all my options in my hometown.” I twisted in my seat to face him again. “I have literally dated every available guy our age in this town. Well…” I snickered. “Except for you. Which…” I snorted a laugh.

“Which, what?”

“Umm, duh.” I blinked twice. “Which would never happen in this lifetime, for obvious reasons.”

Ryder and I were friends before we were even born. Our fathers have been friends since they were teenagers here in Rose Hill and when I was born a few months after Ryder, playdates began the moment we were old enough, and it’s been history ever since.

Friends since forever in my eyes. Ryder wasn’t like my brother. He was my friend, through and through.

“And why not?”

I turned my attention back to him. “And why not, what?”

“Why not in this lifetime?”

I stared at him for a moment, my eyes moving from his neat braids to his glassy eyes.

“You are so drunk and so high right now.” I leaned over in my seat toward the coffee table I made, picking up the tequila bottle’s lid and twisting it back on the bottle. “I’m not doing this with you.”

Though we were super close, living with Ryder was nowhere in any of my yearly plans.

But a nasty breakup with my ex found me out of our apartment with my shit on the sidewalk debating on who to call first, my parents, Serenity, or Ryder.

My parents got at me every weekend about my choice to forego college, telling me it was a poor decision but that I still had time to fix my mistake. Serenity always hated my ex. So much so, I always defended him whenever she brought him up. Ryder was always neutral. I knew he didn’t like my ex either, but he never told me he didn’t. So I called him, only to vent. He was in L.A. at the time and flew in on the red eye to give me a key to his condo and to tell me I could stay with him as long as I liked.

Staying with him as long as I liked turned into me living there when he told me I could since he was barely in the condo with him traveling so often.

So this is where I’ve been. For five years, Ryder and I have been roommates and never have a conversation like the one we were having ever happened.

Until tonight.

When we were drunk and high.

I was turning to address him again, letting him know I was going to put the tequila away when he leaned over and kissed me.

On the mouth.

I pushed him off and punched him in the arm.

“Ow,” he said, laughing. “Shit, Kellz.”

“What the fuck?” I shouted, hitting him again, then leaning back to press my fingers to my lips.

He held his hands up in front of him in mock surrender, still laughing.

“Have you lost your damn mind or have you lost your damn mind?”

“I’m sorry,” he said, fighting back his laugh. “I was just trying to see—”

“Trying to see what?”

He shrugged. “Something.”

I stared at him for a moment, my chest rising and falling, and my eyes blinking.

His lips were soft.

So soft. I closed my eyes and held them shut while shaking my head.

There was a warmth running through me. It settled between my thighs and pulsed faintly like a heartbeat. It felt familiar, a feeling I hadn’t felt in so long. At first, I couldn’t identify it as the pulsing grew stronger.

Until I focused on Ryder again.

Paid a little extra attention to his physique that looked more like a testament to his discipline and dedication he always talks about. With his well-defined muscles that spoke of his regular workouts and his commitment to physical fitness. I noticed how his overall appearance was both artistic and intense and perfectly reflected his creative spirit and resilience he has developed over the years.

All these things had to always have been there. Why were they standing out so much now?

“I knew we shouldn’t have taken shots and smoked that shit,” I mumbled

He stared back at me and licked his lips slowly. “Do you mind if I see something?”

I blinked twice. “Something… like what, Ryder?”

Ryder took a breath and placed a hand on the neck of the couch, closing the space between the two of us. I scanned his face, trying to get a good read on him, not trusting myself when I recognized something different in his eyes.

He kept closing the distance between us until he was right in front of me. Ryder took me by the jaw and pressed his lips against mine again. And instead of pushing him away or punching him in the face this time, I let him peck me once. Then twice. Then allowed him to part my lips with his so he could guide his tongue into my mouth so slowly, I couldn’t help the moan that escaped from me.

We exhaled together the moment our tongues brushed against each other. The soft hold he had with his hand against my face became firmer the deeper the kiss got.

Ryder pressed his body close, combining his heat with mine, and that made another moan escape my lips.

For a moment, none of it felt real. I remembered getting out of bed that morning. I remembered completing my shift at Bellyful and filling in for the short staff at the Thai restaurant.

I remembered everything I did before that moment.

But there, with Ryder’s chest to my chest, it didn’t feel real.

He didn’t feel like my friend of several decades, who I have consciously tried not to see in this way.

Sometimes he’d remove his shirt and his medium build would have me forcing my eyes off him. Or there was that one time, prom night, when I saw him for the first time in a suit and couldn’t keep my eyes off him until I forced myself to focus elsewhere. But I had never imagined us like this, his lips on mine, my tongue in his mouth.

With me not cringing or recoiling. But leaning farther back on the couch, pressing my hands to either side of his face, while spreading my legs so he could lie between them.

We were so close, I could feel him hardening in his jeans.

And that moment, when I felt that yearning ache between my thighs grow so strong, I felt the need to gyrate my core against his erection paired with the need of wanting nothing between us except maybe a condom, I broke the kiss and slithered my way from under him.

“Oh my God,” I said in my slide from beneath him and off the couch. I only stopped sliding and moving away from him when I f the floor. “Oh my God.”

I watched him clean around his mouth, chest rising and falling, eyes smoldering with a look I swear to God I have never seen him wear with me.

“Ryder.” I struggled to stand to my feet as I backed away toward the kitchen’s island. “What the fuck?”

He stood from the couch and I immediately recognized the tent in his jeans.

Ryder approached me in two, maybe three steps.

My backside was against the edge of the island when he placed his hand on either side of me, caging me in.

“What are you doing?” I whispered. “What are we doing?”

He shook his head as he licked his lips. His fingers were in my chunky braids a second later as he cradled my jaw in his hands. “I do not know.”

I exhaled.

“But let’s go with it.”

His lips were against mine again. And again, I didn’t push him off.

I allowed him to lift me off my feet and carry me into my bedroom. My eyes were closed the whole time, but I recognized the scent of my lavender diffuser and the earthy clay aroma that could only come from my room because of my pottery projects.

Ryder placed me on my bed and stood long enough to unbutton and pull down his jeans, and with us apart, you would think that would be when I would come to my senses… when both of us would come to our senses and stop this, but I waited.

Waited for him to join me and assist with removing my clothes.

Waited for one of us to decide that we were tripping and stop whatever the hell this was.

Because we were drunk and high, and clearly bugging out of our minds.

But I didn’t do any of that.

I leaned back when he joined me on the bed. Didn’t reach for a condom, because I didn’t have one, and I didn’t ask him if he had one.

I trusted him.

Because he was my best friend and he’s always had my back. Unlike any other guy I knew or had ever encountered.

So, when Ryder guided himself inside me, I didn’t think twice.

I didn’t get in my head like I did with most guys in moments like this. And although I had never had sex with a man without a condom, with Ryder, I wasn’t freaking out about it.

We kept our eyes on each other as he buried himself deep inside of me. Pulled back just a little before thrusting forward once again. This time deeper.

I widened my legs when he thrusted a third time. Then I clung to him as he found his rhythm and gradually picked up the pace. Our moans became a chorus of sounds and whispered expressions that had me both insanely shocked but also intrigued by what the hell was happening.

I was having sex with Ryder. My best friend for so long. Who I have forced myself not to see in this way but who I was feeling every inch of, and he was feeling so… good?

He turned while still holding me, and I took my place on top of him. Pressing my palms to his inked chest and gyrating and circling my waist atop him.

His jaw dropped as he lowered his eyes. Only for a moment to watch me move. Eyes bouncing from my waist to my eyes and back again before he dropped himself onto my pillow. He was in visible defeat as he squeezed his eyelids tight.

“Fuck, Kelli,” he groaned, folding his bottom lip into his mouth and holding it there with his teeth.

I ground my hips, wanting to see his face transform even more. Because my friend was good-looking but with me on top of him, my goodness he was a god I wanted to make come.

He opened his eyes to mine, releasing his bottom lip so his jaw could drop again.

We held our gazes as he met my sliding back and forth with well-timed upstrokes. Ryder held onto my waist and helped me slide back and forth harder, creating a friction heat that had me dropping my head back between my shoulders. I locked eyes with him when I felt that familiar pull.

The one that had the soles of my feet heating, the muscles in my stomach tensing, and my fluttering walls, Ryder buried himself so deep in between.

“Oh, shit,” I whispered, a little in shock. “Shit, Ryder, mmm. I’m about to come. You’re about to make me come.”

He groaned deeply. “Come then , Kellz.”

Ryder tightened his grip around my waist and helped me slide back and forth faster.

Our moans and groans were so loud and I didn’t care who heard them at that moment.

The feeling that was rolling through me was so damn possessive and electric, I didn’t care about anything that wasn’t Ryder and me on my bed surfing the wave of our orgasm.

He sat up right when my release hit, drawing my nipple into his mouth and growling while sucking.

We shook like crazy against each other, and he tightened his hold around me, changing positions with me again, returning to his position on top.

And as he drove into me, shaking and shuddering in sync with me the whole time, the entire act transported me mentally into a world where he wasn’t him and I wasn’t me.

But we were still us. Just different now.

Previous Episode

Next Episode

Want more Rose Hill? The Rose Hill series is a beautiful collaboration with ShaniceXLola, featuring stories that capture residents finding love on the stunning streets of Rose Hill, New York. Click the link below to visit a town that will steal your heart just as much as its residents will.