Character Confessions – Amir Jones (Girl Code)

And now Amir…

I must have fucked Melodee at least a dozen times in my mind as a teenager. I likened it to teenage hormones but as an adult I see that I was just feeling her harder than I could express. We met our first day of high school as freshman. Girls were already flocking to me without me even trying, doing subtle things like glancing at me over their shoulders or smiling at me whenever our eyes met. But Mel, she kept to herself. She’d only say something to me when I asked her what she was reading.

She was the only person reading in homeroom. The only person to show up with a book on the first day. It was the Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison, her favorite author. She was beautiful, even as a teenager. Her eyes were what always made me want her. Big and brown with long natural eyelashes. Her hair was always soft and curly and I loved it when she’d wear it out. She had a lot of body but that always came second to her mind, to me. She was smart but still laid-back. Melodee knew the definitions to complex big words, words you’d only see on the SAT’s. But she never used them when she spoke.

We became friends instantly because I made her laugh and she made me smile. She was the only girl I ever met who wasn’t shy around me or not afraid to look silly doing something. We bonded over our love of weed. Once, while walking home and I was fishing for my keys in pocket, a dime bag I took from my pops crib in Philly fell out. She asked if it was what she thought it was, weed, and I told her it was. Mel brought me to her backyard that afternoon, and we climbed up to her treehouse for the first time. I thought for sure this would be where we’d share our first kiss but she just wanted to smoke. That became a routine for us after that day. And every afternoon up until she hooked me up with her girl, Sheena, I did my best to work up the courage to ask Mel to be my girlfriend. But it never happened.

From that first day we met as freshman, she put me in the friend zone and no matter how hard I tried to get out she made it impossible. We haven’t seen each other in a few years but I’ve promised myself that the next time we do, I’d make sure we’d become more than just damn good friends.

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